The Dark Tower: Review

The Dark Tower is bland, boring, and far too quick to try to build a franchise yet somehow also lacking in any ambition towards lore or world-building. Arcel and co. clearly, show no sense of understanding in the original source material. In a meager 95 minutes, this film manages to accomplish absolutely nothing of merit. Elba and McConaughey are fine but they’re entirely unable to bring any sense of style, fun, richness, or urgency to a movie that really could’ve benefitted from that. Weirdly enough, I do not think The Dark Tower is really a catastrophe of a film or even offensive in any way, it's just a stale brand of studio-stapled nothingness. Sony took a groundbreaking and thrillingly original novel franchise and turned it into...well…..a Sony product. Aside from a metric ass-ton of references to King’s other works, there's not much of semblance towards his unique vision. Mediocre in all of the ways a film possibly could be. There isn't a single moment in this film that feels even remotely lived in. If the summer of 2017 has proven anything, it's that maybe, just maybe studios will learn their lesson. But probably not. (4/10)

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